you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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