shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I pour the whiskey from now on
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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