If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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