you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize