Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
