Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize