if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize