Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
