I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
now i know why i became what i already was.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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