those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
