cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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