You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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