how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
