I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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