...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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