It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize