I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize