and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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