where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
