I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
