I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
