I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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