The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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