so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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