Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
