am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
