Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
