I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
