She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize