I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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