return my video game
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize