i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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