So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
