I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
