he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
