hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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