i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
