The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
