Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
