im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
