My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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