the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize