12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
