brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
