no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
