I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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