Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
