Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
