hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
