too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
