Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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