Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
