Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
