I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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