It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i came on her dog
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
