i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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